No, I would not like to see a photo of your dick

by Daphne Reese

Men are visual creatures.  I get that.  But why do so many of them hold on to the mistaken notion that women want to see pictures of their dicks?

You hear about it all the time on the news. Brett Favre, Pete Wentz, and other celebrities have all been embarrassed by public scandals that erupted after they sexted photos of their junk, uninvited, to incredulous women who undoubtedly laughed hysterically while showing the photos to their girlfriends, just before calling up the tabloids to start a bidding war.

I think this is a classic example of the male fallacy that women think like men do when it comes to sex.  Most guys would probably be stoked (or stroked!) if a girl sent them some nude photos of herself.  Therefore, they reason, she must be equally psyched to receive a photo of his dong!  (Wrong!)

Don’t get us wrong, boys, we girls do love dick. But let’s face it, the organ is pretty ugly. Particularly if you were not fortunate enough to be circumcised as a baby. Seeing a picture of your cock does not turn us on so much as it causes us to double over in fits of laughter while showing it to as many girlfriends as possible.

Recently, at a tech conference that was admittedly full of geeky guys lacking any social skills, a guy who had been flirting with me for maybe 10 minutes suddenly started bragging about his large penis.  “Would you like to see a photo?” he asked.  Hardly believing him, I said sure.  He immediately whipped out a cell phone and showed me a self-taken photo of his scary-big, horribly veiny, uncircumcised member, hard in his hand.  He was obviously very proud.  “Do you like it?” he asked.  (That is, indeed, the real photo posted here, although I have blurred it out to make it somewhat less disturbing).

Naturally, once I told the girls this story, they insisted on seeing the photo for themselves.  So, I sent the guy a flirty email: “Hey, could I see that sexy photo of your dick again?”  He was more than happy to oblige.  I realize I probably did him, as well as any future women he meets, a great disservice by pretending to actually like the photo, but what else could I say?  “Hey, will you send me that photo of your dick so my friends and I can laugh at it and I can post it on my dating blog?”  Which is exactly what happened.

May 25, 2011. Tags: , . Uncategorized. Leave a comment.