Stir Events by Open Office Hours for all

It seems that even got the memo that sifting through online profiles and photos is a highly inefficient way to find a mate. So, they have shamelessly ripped off my “Open Office Hours” concept and introduced real-life mixer events they call “The Stir.” Curious, I signed up for my first Stir event last night in Cambridge. I figure, if Match is going to do all the work for me and set up Open Office Hours, then I’d be a fool not to go!

Before going, I did have some reservations. My biggest fear was that the venue would be full of my old Match rejects–the guys I had already dated and shot down.  After nearly a year of dating on, this is getting to be a populous demographic.  Luckily, this fear turned out to be mostly unfounded: I only ran into one guy I knew–the cheapskate known as the Guy Who Splits the Check.  We pretended not to know each other.

When I first walked into the venue, I was struck by the fact that it mostly felt like going to any other bar. It was hard to tell who was there for the Match event and who was there just because their office is across the street. People were mingling, drinking, and talking.

Having gone by myself (being unable to blackmail any of the girls into accompanying me), I got myself a glass of wine at the bar and immediately realized my conundrum as a solo woman at a Stir event. You see, I’m a fervent believer in The Rules and never, under any circumstances, do I approach a man first. Normally in bars, I hang out with my girlfriends and wait for men to approach us. However, when you’re a “Solo Lurker” this is difficult. You can either sit at the bar, nursing your drink, looking lonely and pathetic, or you can grab the bull by the balls and just start talking to men yourself. Actually, the latter is pretty easy at Stir events. You already know everyone there is single and looking to meet strangers, so simply making eye contact is enough to spark a conversation with most people.

Some observations from the evening:

1. As you might expect, the girl-to-guy ratio was highly skewed.  I’d estimate there were 3-4 girls for every guy in attendance.

2. The men are all lame. And short.  (Basically, it’s a representative subsection of the pathetic male selection available online).  I did not meet a single guy who piqued my interest.  I wish I could say I was surprised.

However, the evening was not a total loss because:

3. There were some really awesome girls in attendance.  I exchanged numbers with two really friendly [straight] women and made some new friends to go out hunting for men with!

This just goes to support my growing belief that there is no shortage of amazing women in Boston, but the men are all duds.

June 19, 2012. Uncategorized.


  1. Elbie replied: needs to implement a minimum height requirement to even create a profile. Under 5′ 10″? Hard halt. Denied.

  2. Cathy replied:

    Really you are going to eliminate a guy because of his height?? Please re-think this. We all have “needs and “wants” Example….I “need” a guy that doesn’t lie and calls when he says he will. I “want” a guy that is tall. See the difference. Make a list 3 Needs and 3 Wants don’t confuse the 2. Good luck.

    • Daphne Reese replied:

      I actually date a lot of shortish guys. I’m not looking for a “tall” guy necessarily, but he absolutely must be taller than I in heels (approx. 5’7″). I know that doesn’t sound like too high of a bar (pun intended) :), but sadly, Boston is the land of munchkin men and I encounter so many that really are just too damn short. Especially on match. The problem is so pervasive that whenever I check a profile now the very first thing I look at is the guy’s height.

  3. matt z replied:

    i’m in, it would be like taking candy from strangers with that ratio.
    try sandals or ballet flats daphne.

  4. Dave replied:

    well golly – you watch too many movies ..oh the man must be perfect …or else….no wonder women are never happy…..hello -down here……nevermind…

  5. Barb replied:

    Keep following The Rules, my friend! They WORK. It can feel like a long road being single in the big city, but take heart — the good ones are definitely out there (I found my prince charming). You just have to be ready when the right person presents himself. Don’t give up! And… I have to say that it did help me to join Events and Adventures. I met many more people in situations outside of the bar this way, and expanding that social network is ultimately how I met my husband.

    • eddie replied:

      Hi I am 59 years old in great shape an 5 10 fact I think I have my midlife crap befind me and have lost an inch in my 30s I was 5 11″

  6. Ron Blogger replied:

    We recently did a reviews on stir events I wanted to share…There is also a FREE TRIAL HERE! Great events I might add..

  7. M replied:

    What you think about short men on is analogous to what most men think about overweight women on There are even morbidly obese women who insist on a man who is tall and athletic. I live in Memphis, Tennessee, where the ratio of women to men at these kinds of events is more 1:4-5 rather than the 3-4:1 that you saw in Boston. The best approach down here is simply not to date and simply build a life without any intention to have a partner.

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